3.06 im officially on ep 5 of the nso anime! its nice, i do kind of get the complaints of her being an ''idol'' bcs i think her isolation from the outside world kind of factors in,though i suppose thats why there were misconceptions of ame being a vtuber in the first place. well in the manga one oneshot has her ganging up against one, lmao. i do on some level relate to their struggles, ill be kind to the amechan in my heart even though we have alot of differences. the direction style really reminds me of monogatari... or maybe ikuharian works. the lain inspiration also factors in which makes total sense. i have alot of respect for people who put themselves out there online bcs ive been very content in just drawing and blogging, i think to do that would be scary. im waiting until im 20, probably, though i dont ever want to be an influencer, i know my mental resolve is way too weak for that. id like to use the internet for kindness and connection from now on... i hate sour things... ( just using stock phrases so he doesnt have to think about things that he does not want to dwell upon ) i want to put out more drawings though! also, i have fallen for nechikasama, absolutely, entirely and completely. bakyuun! im kind of a princess in a tower sometimes, so please PLEASE rescue me, nechikasama! im okay with being girl number 2, or girl number 2000, or whatever they said in my girlfriend isnt here today! im basically a monster of the collective conscious, so its perfectly fine, so call me up, please! so far ep 5 is probably my favourite, amechan is pretty kind, i admire people who are truly kind, i dont care that much about a pursuit of beauty because i never realy felt like i should concern myself with that at school, lmao, i already have enough on my plate and lookisms basis is stupid as a whole due to the fact im a crazy feminist or something. i devalue myself based on other factors! but not anymore im feeling pleasant. nso was made so i can jerk myself off at the fact my screen time is down now ( do not think i am comparing myself to kangel or any of the main cast apart from similar but different mental issues i am completely fine w being nugu i am not that self centered though i think ppl online kind of get into dick measuring contests abt who and who cannot relate to the game which is funny bcs the adults being weird to the lonely teenagers are also not influencers w 9 mill. girl im tired lets eat cheese.

okay im eating some babybel now i forgot how tangy this is maybe its expired idgaf father works as a cashier webmaster will probably be joining him this summer so we get expired food for way off surprisingly ive never got sick all 17 years. i also hope my 24 year old self is happy. its nice amechan is 24 its cute. i say if i dont get it sorted by 21 ill off myself for real this time but i dont believe that as much anymore. i know that bcs of the family i was born into i have to work a bit more harder than others n the way the economy is going ill be screwed over sooner or later, but i dont want to die before i do a few more things. even if others give up on me, i cant give up on myself, because im the only self i have, so its okay. ill do my best so this self can be happy eventually!

anyways lets no longer ostracise and join hands in blessdom forever. i feel empathetic now... cuz i say im being empathetic. but seriously fuck man the human conditions man nechikasamas big butch naturals man the information age man nechikasama sweaty man normies and otaku lets all be kind . i hope her and michina get it on in the next episode. Karamazov is the worst poly relationship of all time poor lollipop man.

watching hurricane bianca i giggled at the fagit scene is it over for me

watched the newest episode of nso! michinas main deal seems to be a pursuit of beauty, and a want to die in the teen years. the anime previously went upon the kind of society which values women at their youngest w kangel worrying about people discarding her once she isnt youthful, but this whole episode is michinas whole deal about that. i guess its different, as michinas basically embodying the whole lolita ordeal of a pure maiden, right? romanticised europe and tea parties, dolls and plush toys... im a bit surprised she seems to be popular at school, or at least not actively bullied. though its clear she seems to detest her classmates due to the whole 14 lines of just the same as them over and over... i cant really relate to stuff like that, but her mother doesnt seem very considerate. junior high is 14-15 in japan, iirc, so she mustve been rather young as well! but overall i think her abandoning her previous ideas of beauty was really good with the discussions of it being objective and her finding her new beauty with her friends and through their shared loneliness and hatred of society I Think With The God Thing. i think the next episode will probably involve nechika's identity, i feel, if the toilet scene was anything to go by. i saw some discussions on reddit, abt her being tmasc/tfem or bi, but where does the bi come from? hasnt she only flirted with women so far? either way, i hope we go more into their backstory. i think overall karamazovs weird poly thing is actually quite endearing. im fond of you purple denpa lollipop you are my favourite asocial judas. in a way... the stabbing scene with the coffin, the beautiful dress and kiss scene, all kind of reminded me of utena? but everything does, so.

nechikasama episode! is what id say if i was a fool and a belland. okay, im jumping the gun a little here... i think i made up a narrative of how i wanted this episode to go based on the last one, due to that being a total dissection of michinas concept of beauty, and very artsy to top it off. ep 7 in comparison is pretty slow-paced, and doesnt really focus on nechikas inner thoughts as much as i thought it would... it is setting up more of the karamazov conflict w the ring in a similar utena sequence lmao

anyways... apart from the bar argument with the rest of the customers coming in on interludes and the discussion of oshikatsu/nechika being like yeh im gay but most of the girls who oshi me are straight so its fine and ethical in comparison compared to hosts as well as the ring scene - im okay w both in fact i really am fond of denpa lollipop so this isnt slander - i just find timing wise a little funny how the actual family flashbacks take up like 4 minutes of the 23 minute episode. though i was more curious on how she knew michina since they seemingly went to the same school, gender presentation... its more of a family thing with her, due to the fact her mother left and she was the oldest of 3 brothers, as well as her father being poor. i think its nice their relationship got mended, at least, it was just a bit jarring. i wonder what the cicada was meant to represent? i was wondering if it was regret, or maybe isolation... how its contrasted with the butterfly that grows when shes with her friends slash lover idk shes messy as fuck but the arm squeeze w michina i think implies that theyre together. harumichi situation

i guess her real problem is that shes a realist who doesnt believe in dreams. maybe thats the point? to show her apathy? i dont knowwwwww